Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I require some advice on a personal matter please??

I am a Christian, 25, a Professional, (simply to state that I feel that I am in my mid-twenties and feel I am at a mature and responsible level). and I have been ';Courting'; a Christian girl, just a year younger than me, for just over one month.





Basically I love her to bits, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.





(I understand that some people will think that this is mad and too soon).





And well my main question is how long should a courtship last?





If I were to propose and after we get engaged I reckon it will be a year until we get married (just to get everything organised), and basically I don't really want to wait around too long once I know I have the one for me.





So how long was it for you before you got engaged/married?





Is it normal to expect that adult christians who are waiting for marriage before sex, may have somewhat of a short courtship??!?!?!I require some advice on a personal matter please??
The courtship should last as long as you both want it to. Many people feel the need to wait for various reasons, but if you both know that you want to grow old with each other then do it.





Personal experience. I waited for two years before I got married to my wife and ended up stumbling twice in the sex before marriage department. The longer you wait the harder it gets, at least that is my experience, but everyone is different. Pay attention to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, He'll let you know where the line is. The last year of our courtship was pretty good because we held ourselves to certain standards. Hope this is helpful.I require some advice on a personal matter please??
At one time courtships like yours lasted less than six months. Both parties just got too horny to wait.





If you are both in the same church, have the same interests and are both willing to commit to a life time marriage, then go for it. Don't wait, do it today, ask her to marry you, get the preacher set up for next week and do it. Don't wimp out.
at 25 you are no longer a kid, infatuated for the first time, My experience wouldn't be of much help to you, My wife decided that she was going to marry me the first time that she saw me, she was 15 at the time.


We got married 7 years later, 7 years that were wasted, I should have married her years earlier, we have been married for 40 years.


the person you need to be talking to is the young lady, good luck.
Nothing about this sounds normal. The fact you are using the term 'courting' sounds like you are part of some fundimentalist movement. If you want to abstain from sex, so be it, but I assure you brother, you are missing out on one of Gods great gifts and an apportunity to know the girl better.
My husband and I were friends for ten years before we were married.





As long as you both agree on the length of the courtship, I don't think there is a ';right'; answer.





A year sounds absolutely fine to me. I am glad you found someone you love to bits (that is so cute).
There really is no length to how long a courtship should last ... there are people the court for years and end up not working out in the end. There are also couples that fall for eachother in a matter of weeks. If you truly love her... have faith in god as well as the relationship. And get to asking her





good luck
i was engaed to my wife for a yr before i got married , everything turned out great, but you have to consider the natural urges we might have, keeping that in mind and working on self control will definetely help you to know her better and will make your marriage stronger.,
Woah, slow down :-) You barely know anyone within a month of knowing them. Give it at least 2 years.





I have been with my hubby for 12 years (married for 7 years this Month)...and we are still learning things about each other.





Take it slow.
If you have only known the person for a month, it is not love, it's infatuation.





It might someday be love, but it could just as easily fall to pieces.
If you feel that she is the one and she feels the same way about you then you guys should come together and pray about it. God did not set a certain amount of years on a courtship
Do you believe in love at first sight... I do. I would pay real close attention, first to how she treats you. Make sure she loves you too, then go for it. Yeah, it might be hasty, but it happens.
Pray about it, ask God to guide you and give you the answer that you are searching for.





Good luck,


and may God bless you and yours...
I was married 2 months after my first date,although I knew her in a professional and friendly manner for years.That was 22 years ago next month.She was ';the one';
I was engaged 6 weeks after I met the woman that would become my wife, and we were married less than 6 months after that.
Try each other out first. What would you do if you marry first then find you are sexually incompatible.
We knew the minute, we met. But had to wait 1 yr. Does she feel the same ? You will be courting and wooing her forever.


GOD BLESS
Pray about it. God will show you the right path.
Just ask God in prayer. If you should go ahead %26amp; propose. But the ring should cost the amount of your months paycheck.





When you are praying in spirit %26amp; truth %26amp; rejoicing in Gods Truth, then sneak in this girl %26amp; thank God she is the girl to propose to. If you still feel joy in your spirit man %26amp; rejoice in this truth, then you can know in your knower that you can go ahead now or if you need to wait till later, etc...





If you have been waiting for your wife (a very good thing to do) %26amp; is a sign of faithfulness. Then when you know in your knower she is the one, then just propose. Why wait? Unless God directs you to propose later or break up because God would know best on the timing.
Darlin... you definatly need to make sure that what you are feeling is love and not that firey passion that we all have in the first 6 months of a relationship.


You need to wait, you don't know enough about her, or her habits, or her beliefs to really have an idea about the rest of your life... remember a lot of humans are living to be about 100 or more now adays... you are in your mid 20's lets assume 25 that would be 75 years with a person you hardly know at all.


My suggestion is wait 6 months and if you still feel the same way, pop the question... however, wait at least 2 years before getting married, that way there will be no bad surprises in the psychology of your relationship.


I understand about love at first sight, but often it is not love, it is lust (that firey passion that makes you want to hold on to that person and just kiss her for eternity) I have felt this way, and I know that it doesn't make for strong healthy relationships.


if you truely want to spend your life with her, you owe it to yourself and to her to make sure it is as healthy as possible.
I proposed to my wife after we had been dating a month, but I knew she was the one I was going to marry on our first date. We were married five months later. Just because you have a long courtship doesn't guarantee a long stable marriage. Incidentally, tomorrow is our 22nd anniversary.


I can tell you this, if both of you put God first in your marriage, your spouse second, and yourself third, the chances of the marriage being a long-term success will greatly increase.


If you feel that God is telling you she is the one, and he's telling her the same thing, why put it off?
I met my wife, I proposed to my wife, I married my wife. It took a few weeks to do the entire process, but I have been happily married forever now. She was the correct person. I made a decision that no matter what happened, I could not back out or alter the decision. If you believe you have to make it work and both believe that, then you will be together forever.





I met her, the next day I realized I had just met my wife. It took a little time, about a week to be sure. It was a Friday, I asked her what she was doing next Friday, she said nothing, so I asked her if she wanted to get married then. We did, at noon, the following Friday.





Good luck, the waiting should not be based on what others expect, but on what makes sense for the two of you. If she expects the princess wedding with the flower girls and the dresses and the whole thing, it will take awhile. People need to schedule things into their schedule. This is the largest element of delay.





Do what makes sense for the two of you.
We dated for 9 months before I proposed, we were only engaged for 3 months before the wedding. July, 6 we will have our 25th wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say that I love her more today then ever before.


Pastor Bill





The person above me says that nobody courts any more. That shows what she knows about purity, you are doing the right thing. If you feel GOD is telling you to move forward in asking her to marry you, then by all means go for it.


May God continue to bless this relationship, in Jesus name.
Relgion aside, Ive always promised myself that I would never propose to a girl that I have dated less than 2-3 years. Plus, at least one of those years needs to be spent living together, in my book anyway. I want to have a feel on how things will be living together 'forever'. You dont want to jump into a life with someone who may be super messy, posessive, etc...........





I dont know....it all comes down to giving a car a test drive before you buy it.





Luckily, me and my wonderful g/f are getting close to 3 years, which means I need to start planning...





Congrats on your newfound relationship!
I don't see the point in waiting until you are married to have sex if it rushes people into one of the most important decisions of their lives. I understand that it can be frustrating but you need to stop making it about sex. You need to put that out of your head and evaluate your situation. This is a major life decision and you need to think with the right head here.





I was with my wife for four years before we got married but everyone takes things at their own pace. Oh and incidentally I didn't wait until I was married, but I think the advice above still stands. Make this choice for the right reasons.








You will never be free if you belong to another man's God,


Shane K.
I'm sure you have... but I need to say...


Have you prayed about it?





Love is a crazy thing.


Of course it can be infatuation.


Or you may be led to her by the Lord.


Just please be aware that there have been tons


of relationships that have soured,


because they were unequally yolked.





For me, a month is not long enough to determine


if you are equally yolked.


You could almost say you're in the ';honeymoon'; stage of love.





It could easily be that you are both sexually attracted,


and you want to ';seal the deal'; in God's eyes, which


is quite decent and honorable, before you go too far.


That's an awesome thing in today's world.





I heard something once that stuck with me.


It was from a movie with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda,


and the original, called ';Yours, Mine and Ours.';


Henry Fonda's character said that love's not about the things we think it's about. It's about the orthodontist, eating hamburger when you can't afford steak. Basically making those sacrifices for one another, and more than that... more than what his character said, it is the honest effort and ability of going to God in prayer, over all things... TOGETHER! Do you know if it's just temporary? It's knowing everything about somebody else, and loving them anyway.





I will pray right now for you.


Dear Lord,


Bless this man with knowledge, understanding, and discernment over this matter of marriage. With You, Jesus, all things are possible, through the Father. This may be exactly the union you're looking to bless. But it may not.


May the Word of the Holy Father be addressed in these matters, taken into consideration by all, and perhaps counseling with a pastor... before this important union step is taken.





In Jesus' Name, Amen.











Can you lead this young man, after your own heart,


to the right decision? Please show him the truth, the light and the way.








God bless you!
One month is way too soon to decide that you love someone to bits and want to spend the rest of your life with them. At this point it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl. Give it about a year before you even think about getting married.





On the other hand, long engagements are assinine. I've known people who have been ';engaged'; for three years before they started making wedding preparations. Once you fork over the ring, y'all should be down the aisle within a few months. Once you decide to get married, then just do it already.
I met my husband online in April '97, and at the time he lived 2,000 miles away. Within the first month, I already knew he was the one. We met in person that August, he moved here in Sept., we got engaged in October, and got married the following June. The only reason we waited 8 months is because we wanted a June wedding. Otherwise it would have been sooner. He was baptized into Christ a couple weeks before our wedding. (And yes, we waited until our wedding night for sex.)





I understand how you feel. Does your girlfriend feel the same way you do? Does she ever drop hints that she's looking to get engaged yet? Pray about this, asking for God's guidance and wisdom as you move forward. (And personally I don't think it would take longer than ~6 months to plan a wedding, but we were married 10 yrs ago.) God bless!
you should give your self enough time to get to know the person on ever single level. If you rush in it too soon, some where down the line it wont work out, Misunderstandings happen all the time, so its good to know what ticks them off and how they like to sort it out.





and courting? its not the 1960s its now called dating.





Your in that loved up phrase, everyone goes through it, you just cant get enough of each other and the feelings are at their highest point, but remember their not at their deepest point. That would go after about a couple of months or a year after.
  • revlon
  • Some Baby Dust advice based on personal experience...?

    Some Baby Dust advice from the ';trick-or-treat'; mom!!!!?


    When I was growing up, I had very irregular periods. I wasn't sexually active, but I went 9 mos one time without a period (obviously not pregnant). I was actually very irregular until I got married.(and started having sex). But because of my irregularity I was very worried I wouldn't be able to have kids.


    After we had been married for 8 mos, we started trying to have kids. We were only 20 and 21 when we got married. And then 20 and 22 when we got pregnant with our daughter!


    We were seperated during the day and overnight because of some military training I was in. But as soon as school was out, I'd jog over to his hotel, and we'd get busy, several times in each sitting. I'm not trying to be too graphic, I just feel that if you hear about someone getting pregnant from so much sex, you won't worry about replenishing sperm...granted low sperm count isn't an issue. So, within a month, we were pregnant.


    After my daughter was born (7mos ago) I went on birth control. Definitely didn't...





    Additional Details





    24 minutes ago


    want another baby that soon! But, in the first week of October, we started trying to conceive. I was really nervous because I really wanted to get pregnant fast! and since I'd never been on BC, I was worried about how it had affected my fertility. That's how I found this Yahoo Q%26amp;A thing. And I started doing research. I found this GREAT product called PreSeed. It's a lubricant like KY, but It's made to support sperm activity. In case you don't know, KY can create a barrier that hinders the sperm, Don't try to use it as a contraceptive, but if you aren't TTC, It's a great product....Cheaper to. But the PreSeed was well worth it. I must have bought about 12 tests in the last month!! I started to ';feel'; like I might be pregnant around the 12th of october. So, I started testing. I came back negative. Then, on the 24th, I decided to just get a blood test done. Negative.


    Then, on the 30th, I was supposed to get my period. Nothing. So, on the 31st, I tested. I had a very strange result..





    19 minutes ago


    I kind of saw a second line, but it was a ';ghost'; line (spooky on Halloween huh?!?! LOL) I posted a question ';Trick-0r-Treat?'; and got alot of good responses that prompted me to retest last night. It came back positive!!!! Hubby got home at 3am and told me to test again when I showed it to him (since 5hrs had elapsed). SO, I did. Same Positive.


    I got my blood drawn this morning and I'm waiting for the official word, but 3+ seem pretty sure to me.


    So, I want to share my experience, the symptoms I've had and hopefully help some of you out there.


    Don't worry about trying the numbers game, ';when do I ovulate...'; Just try to relax, and have sex everyday, as long as mr. sex doesn't have a low sperm count.


    Try the PreSeed instead of your usual lubricants. and heck, what would it hurt to try propping your legs up on the wall??


    And don't get discouraged when theres a -, it might just be too early. Oh, and you don't have to spend more than a $1 on an HPT to get an acurate result...





    14 minutes ago


    Symptoms I felt:


    VERY gassy, whic is actually a symptom I didn't have with my daughter.





    Tender during sex. and some mild cramping.





    Slightly swollen breast, shooting pains when I got into the freezer section at the store, and my left breast leaked a very tiny bit of colostrom...I did just have a baby, but haven't breast fed in 5 mos.





    Fatigue, headaches.





    LOOSE stool. some women get constipated. I've had some easy poops!





    On one day, I had some period like cramping (about 12 days before my period was due) It only lasted about an hour, but then it when away.





    Slight waves of neausea at no particular instant.





    A craving for spicy food.





    Irritability. I'm a very touchy, feely person, but my husband is a little less so. We went to a club for my birthday (we don't drink, don't worry...) And we were Grinding on the floor, and he was rubbing his hands on my sides, and it was irritating me. I couldn't understand why.





    I did have just a quarter size of blood one time when...





    11 minutes ago


    I went to the bathroom.





    very keen sense of smell.





    I think that about covers it. Like I said, I see so many questions on here and I just want to share my experience and hope it helps someone out.


    Good luck, God Bless, and Lots of Baby Dust for you all!!!





    Mom of 1 and one in the oven!!!Some Baby Dust advice based on personal experience...?
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never been pregnant, but would like to be soon, and I'm always looking for advice and others' experiences. Good Luck to you and your family! God Bless!Some Baby Dust advice based on personal experience...?
    I really thought this was a question. Congrats.
    Thanks for the advice, and the two points.
    Wow that was long. It took me 5 years to conceive with my second child. Not trying is what did it so you are right just have fun.
    yeah thanks for the 2pts. hehehe

    I need Advice regarding my personal morality, and future education!?

    My grandma had a heart attack...


    and now my Uncle is proposing that I go to C.O.D(local community college) and live with my grandma


    so i can take care of her for two years.


    Shes not only a widow, but her boyfriend recently died as well. in other words, shes lonely.





    (she lives in close by in a nice little country club)





    If i turn down this offer, Im selfish.


    Ive already gotten myself into college; and I thought I had avoided prolonging my stay here entirely.


    Ive earned good grades.








    If i take this offer;


    Im potentially changing the course of my life.


    but it means a nice,free living environment,and a car.











    If heaven for bid, something should happen to her in the course of the 2 years...where does that put me?


    Would living with a 18 year old benefit her condition at all?


    Am i even allowed to live in a retirement center????!..











    lend me your thoughts.I need Advice regarding my personal morality, and future education!?
    You are not allowed to live in a retirement center. You might get away with it for several months, even a year, but it is not allowed.





    There will come a time when it will come down to her having to move, because you will no longer be allowed to stay with her.





    When this happens, you are worse off than square one. You are in community college instead of college, and you have no place to live. This could happen in the middle of heavy school work loads, and having to move, plus the stress of what will happen with your grandma could all cause you to have issues with your grades.





    You are not being selfish by saying no. No one should force this idea on you. This is a wonderful idea, and there is a lot of heart behind you wanting and not being sure about doing it.





    Unfortunately, you need to have secure and set living conditions before you start school. You need to go to the school that will be best for your future and that you are already accepted into. If your grandma had her own house in the same city as your college, then you wouldn't even be asking us what we think.





    This is too much to ask of you, and as nice as it is to consider it, you can't live in uncertain living conditions while trying to get your proper education. It's too risky.





    Good luck!I need Advice regarding my personal morality, and future education!?
    Sounds like you are already leaning towards living with your grandmother. There is a movie with Cameron Diaz in which involves her and her sister staying at their grandmothers retirement community, you should watch it.





    On the other hand, if she is in a retirement center, surely there are tons of people around to keep her company.
    Forget about the car and free rent although these are bonuses. If you go with your grandma you are there to help her and keep her company not to live off of her. This question may not have an easy answer. It will be a burden on you but is not the end of the world. At worst it will set you back a few years school wise but, is not like school has a maximum age you can attend. The question is whether you will loose any scholarships and other benefits. What about the colleges around that area? You can transfer you know. People do it all the time, they start out in one school and finish in another. Note that there are some restrictions as not all of your credits may transfer and you have to take a minimum number of courses with that particular school.





    Another alternative is to do a sort of tour of duty. this is sacrifice a semester but then is someone else's turn. There has to be other family members. Also, like you say I don't think they allow young people in old retirement homes. My advice is for you to research all your options. What you loose what you win, were you will live etc etc and once you gather all the pertinent info then make an educated desition.
    Your in for a tough situation. But really, if something were to happen to your Grandma, and knowing that you weren't there for her when she needed you the most, how would you feel? Going to a Community College may save you money and it might not be as half bad as how people put it out to be. 2 years will pass by fast, and you can always transfer to a University after that, so just do it.





    Good luck with everything. Also, I don't know, I don't even think you can live in a retirement center, lol...

    Looking for advice from a personal trainer about weight loss/muscle build-up?

    I am 6' 4'; and 215 pounds. I wouldn't call myself obese, but I am definitely about 20lbs overweight. Most of ';fat'; is on my stomach and face/chin. I have tried to go on a 2,000 calorie diet - which lasted a month - I was ready to go crazy.





    So here's my questions:


    1) What exercises do you recommend me doing to get rid of the stomach and face fat? (Please keep in mind that I do have a very bad back, so sit ups have been very difficult for me to do.)


    2) How many calories should I stick to if I want to lose weight? (I know 2,000 calories for me is very different than 2,000 calories for a 5' 4'; woman).Looking for advice from a personal trainer about weight loss/muscle build-up?
    If you want to just lose weight use the elyptical machines. With a bad back your choices are limited unless you want to bear the pain but the lower abs you should be able to work on without hurting just get in situp position and lift your legs with your knees in triangle like shape and bring it towards your stomach. then repeat hope this helps

    Need advice - Live-in boyfriend needs personal space?

    I have been living with my boyfriend for 1 year, we have been together for almost 3 yrs. He has always maintained that he needs personal space and doesnt feel he gets enough of it. For the past 4 months he sleeps on the sofa rather than our bed because he claims the bedroom gets too hot. Recently, I caught him masturbating to his computer and when I questioned him if he was chatting with someone he swore that he wasn't. Rather, he was looking at pics. I am ok with the masturbating, but everything else seems to be taking its toll. We have a good relationship and both have very stressful jobs. He ends up bringing work home with him during the week and usually falls asleep working on it. On the weekends, we do spend time together. I really need advice or insight into our situation. Lately, I have been feeling ignored and confused.Need advice - Live-in boyfriend needs personal space?
    Tell him that while you know he needs his space, that you have needs too. A relationship is not just about one person's needs. In the meantime, give him his space and see if he comes back to the bed.Need advice - Live-in boyfriend needs personal space?
    everyone needs personal space its natural but from reading your question it seems he has placed his needs as well as his job above you and what you need in stressful jobs we sometimes forget there is another part of life besides work that needs attrition my advise is have a talk see what he has to say and be honest with him tell him how you really feel then decide if this is working for you but don't be the only one in the relationship it can be very lonely..
    this is so typical. men will cling to you, then pull a switch-a-roo....don't worry, i'd say give him his ';personal space'; go out with your friends/fam. Give him the space he needs, and then he'll bring his a** to bed. Do you masturbate? Get off in the bedroom, close the door. Believe me, he'll come knocking. Men are a trip. So what if he got off on some pics (as long as it's nothing sick or weird) online. It's just porn...but as long as it doesn't become an addiction. However, like I said...give him personal space. Get yours too. Don't waste energy pondering over this. You are wasting energy that's why you're on Yahoo Answers (which is cool as hell by the way) ;-) but seriously, start doing things alone and enjoy your PERSONAL space too. Then say, babe...this personal space thing is cool you talked about. I think it's good for us, then give him a kiss and say, i'm going out, I'll call ya later. He's gonna stop you like, ';where are you going?'; hehe. Play it cool girl. He'll get dat mind right shortly. good luck ;-)
    Is he masturbating instead of having sex with you? When he tells you he isn't chatting with someone on the computer or he sleeps on the couch because it's too hot in the bedroom are you comfortable with those answers?


    If you are comfortable with those answers and there are no warning bells clanging in your head that he's lying then you may have to accept that this is how he is and decide if that is something you can live with.


    If your inner warning bells are going off maybe do some snooping or just ask him out right if there is something going on. (Snooping his computer is not the most honest method - but it can be the most useful.)
    If he needs his personal space so badly then tell him to go to a buddy/relatives house, because he is totally playing with you. He's not having sex with you?! and he's placing his job before you?! These are signs honey, that it's not working anymore. I'm sorry you deserve so much better.
    He doesn't want to tell you, but he doesn't think of you as his lady love anymore. IF he truly loved you, you wouldn't catch him masturbating, he'd want sex with you instead. Also, he would sleep with you in your bed.


    See the signs? Get out while you can.
    You need to ask him what's going on and tell him how you are feeling. While it's good to have one's personal space there are other ways to go about getting that space than distancing yourself from your partner. Find out if something else is going on. Good luck.

    Personal question.. I need true advice, please?

    Okay. I'm getting a little nervous about this for a while now. (Ever since my first boyfriend.)


    I'm only fifteen but..


    I've never been kissed before.. Not even from my ex boyfriend.


    I just want to know, when was your first kiss?Personal question.. I need true advice, please?
    Only fifteen and your worried about not getting kissed?





    Don't sweat it, it's not a competition. I know a lot of attractive girls that are 17 that haven't kissed a guy yet. Don't be like all the other girls at your school that completely throw themselves on guys anytime they are cute.





    Guys always have fun teaching a to kiss too so it's more of a bonus than a setback.





    Oh the first time I kissed a girl on the lips was... I think 4? Maybe 5. lol





    And if anyone teases you, just make up a lie and say you did BUT never kiss a guy just to do it. You'll regret later.

    Personal training as a career... Any advice?

    what certifications are best, what is the pay like, what is your average day like, etc.... any info would be helpful


    thanks!Personal training as a career... Any advice?
    I can't answer you from the PT certifications side but I can answer from the HR and business side.





    Talk to the local health clubs and see what they require. Some may not require much more than on-the-job training.





    Once you are hired begin to create a list of clients you can call on yourself later.





    The real trick to being successful in this type of career is you cannot be a personal trainer who markets themselves - You have to be a marketer who just so happens to market your services as a PT.





    In other words - most of your efforts should be spent on marketing you and the rest of the time spent at the gyms and clubs working with your clients. Too many very capable people have glutted that market by just kinda' ';putting their name out there';.





    You need to be different. Every waking moment should be spent marketing yourself
  • revlon