Basically I love her to bits, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
(I understand that some people will think that this is mad and too soon).
And well my main question is how long should a courtship last?
If I were to propose and after we get engaged I reckon it will be a year until we get married (just to get everything organised), and basically I don't really want to wait around too long once I know I have the one for me.
So how long was it for you before you got engaged/married?
Is it normal to expect that adult christians who are waiting for marriage before sex, may have somewhat of a short courtship??!?!?!I require some advice on a personal matter please??
The courtship should last as long as you both want it to. Many people feel the need to wait for various reasons, but if you both know that you want to grow old with each other then do it.
Personal experience. I waited for two years before I got married to my wife and ended up stumbling twice in the sex before marriage department. The longer you wait the harder it gets, at least that is my experience, but everyone is different. Pay attention to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, He'll let you know where the line is. The last year of our courtship was pretty good because we held ourselves to certain standards. Hope this is helpful.I require some advice on a personal matter please??
At one time courtships like yours lasted less than six months. Both parties just got too horny to wait.
If you are both in the same church, have the same interests and are both willing to commit to a life time marriage, then go for it. Don't wait, do it today, ask her to marry you, get the preacher set up for next week and do it. Don't wimp out.
at 25 you are no longer a kid, infatuated for the first time, My experience wouldn't be of much help to you, My wife decided that she was going to marry me the first time that she saw me, she was 15 at the time.
We got married 7 years later, 7 years that were wasted, I should have married her years earlier, we have been married for 40 years.
the person you need to be talking to is the young lady, good luck.
Nothing about this sounds normal. The fact you are using the term 'courting' sounds like you are part of some fundimentalist movement. If you want to abstain from sex, so be it, but I assure you brother, you are missing out on one of Gods great gifts and an apportunity to know the girl better.
My husband and I were friends for ten years before we were married.
As long as you both agree on the length of the courtship, I don't think there is a ';right'; answer.
A year sounds absolutely fine to me. I am glad you found someone you love to bits (that is so cute).
There really is no length to how long a courtship should last ... there are people the court for years and end up not working out in the end. There are also couples that fall for eachother in a matter of weeks. If you truly love her... have faith in god as well as the relationship. And get to asking her
good luck
i was engaed to my wife for a yr before i got married , everything turned out great, but you have to consider the natural urges we might have, keeping that in mind and working on self control will definetely help you to know her better and will make your marriage stronger.,
Woah, slow down :-) You barely know anyone within a month of knowing them. Give it at least 2 years.
I have been with my hubby for 12 years (married for 7 years this Month)...and we are still learning things about each other.
Take it slow.
If you have only known the person for a month, it is not love, it's infatuation.
It might someday be love, but it could just as easily fall to pieces.
If you feel that she is the one and she feels the same way about you then you guys should come together and pray about it. God did not set a certain amount of years on a courtship
Do you believe in love at first sight... I do. I would pay real close attention, first to how she treats you. Make sure she loves you too, then go for it. Yeah, it might be hasty, but it happens.
Pray about it, ask God to guide you and give you the answer that you are searching for.
Good luck,
and may God bless you and yours...
I was married 2 months after my first date,although I knew her in a professional and friendly manner for years.That was 22 years ago next month.She was ';the one';
I was engaged 6 weeks after I met the woman that would become my wife, and we were married less than 6 months after that.
Try each other out first. What would you do if you marry first then find you are sexually incompatible.
We knew the minute, we met. But had to wait 1 yr. Does she feel the same ? You will be courting and wooing her forever.
GOD BLESS
Pray about it. God will show you the right path.
Just ask God in prayer. If you should go ahead %26amp; propose. But the ring should cost the amount of your months paycheck.
When you are praying in spirit %26amp; truth %26amp; rejoicing in Gods Truth, then sneak in this girl %26amp; thank God she is the girl to propose to. If you still feel joy in your spirit man %26amp; rejoice in this truth, then you can know in your knower that you can go ahead now or if you need to wait till later, etc...
If you have been waiting for your wife (a very good thing to do) %26amp; is a sign of faithfulness. Then when you know in your knower she is the one, then just propose. Why wait? Unless God directs you to propose later or break up because God would know best on the timing.
Darlin... you definatly need to make sure that what you are feeling is love and not that firey passion that we all have in the first 6 months of a relationship.
You need to wait, you don't know enough about her, or her habits, or her beliefs to really have an idea about the rest of your life... remember a lot of humans are living to be about 100 or more now adays... you are in your mid 20's lets assume 25 that would be 75 years with a person you hardly know at all.
My suggestion is wait 6 months and if you still feel the same way, pop the question... however, wait at least 2 years before getting married, that way there will be no bad surprises in the psychology of your relationship.
I understand about love at first sight, but often it is not love, it is lust (that firey passion that makes you want to hold on to that person and just kiss her for eternity) I have felt this way, and I know that it doesn't make for strong healthy relationships.
if you truely want to spend your life with her, you owe it to yourself and to her to make sure it is as healthy as possible.
I proposed to my wife after we had been dating a month, but I knew she was the one I was going to marry on our first date. We were married five months later. Just because you have a long courtship doesn't guarantee a long stable marriage. Incidentally, tomorrow is our 22nd anniversary.
I can tell you this, if both of you put God first in your marriage, your spouse second, and yourself third, the chances of the marriage being a long-term success will greatly increase.
If you feel that God is telling you she is the one, and he's telling her the same thing, why put it off?
I met my wife, I proposed to my wife, I married my wife. It took a few weeks to do the entire process, but I have been happily married forever now. She was the correct person. I made a decision that no matter what happened, I could not back out or alter the decision. If you believe you have to make it work and both believe that, then you will be together forever.
I met her, the next day I realized I had just met my wife. It took a little time, about a week to be sure. It was a Friday, I asked her what she was doing next Friday, she said nothing, so I asked her if she wanted to get married then. We did, at noon, the following Friday.
Good luck, the waiting should not be based on what others expect, but on what makes sense for the two of you. If she expects the princess wedding with the flower girls and the dresses and the whole thing, it will take awhile. People need to schedule things into their schedule. This is the largest element of delay.
Do what makes sense for the two of you.
We dated for 9 months before I proposed, we were only engaged for 3 months before the wedding. July, 6 we will have our 25th wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say that I love her more today then ever before.
Pastor Bill
The person above me says that nobody courts any more. That shows what she knows about purity, you are doing the right thing. If you feel GOD is telling you to move forward in asking her to marry you, then by all means go for it.
May God continue to bless this relationship, in Jesus name.
Relgion aside, Ive always promised myself that I would never propose to a girl that I have dated less than 2-3 years. Plus, at least one of those years needs to be spent living together, in my book anyway. I want to have a feel on how things will be living together 'forever'. You dont want to jump into a life with someone who may be super messy, posessive, etc...........
I dont know....it all comes down to giving a car a test drive before you buy it.
Luckily, me and my wonderful g/f are getting close to 3 years, which means I need to start planning...
Congrats on your newfound relationship!
I don't see the point in waiting until you are married to have sex if it rushes people into one of the most important decisions of their lives. I understand that it can be frustrating but you need to stop making it about sex. You need to put that out of your head and evaluate your situation. This is a major life decision and you need to think with the right head here.
I was with my wife for four years before we got married but everyone takes things at their own pace. Oh and incidentally I didn't wait until I was married, but I think the advice above still stands. Make this choice for the right reasons.
You will never be free if you belong to another man's God,
Shane K.
I'm sure you have... but I need to say...
Have you prayed about it?
Love is a crazy thing.
Of course it can be infatuation.
Or you may be led to her by the Lord.
Just please be aware that there have been tons
of relationships that have soured,
because they were unequally yolked.
For me, a month is not long enough to determine
if you are equally yolked.
You could almost say you're in the ';honeymoon'; stage of love.
It could easily be that you are both sexually attracted,
and you want to ';seal the deal'; in God's eyes, which
is quite decent and honorable, before you go too far.
That's an awesome thing in today's world.
I heard something once that stuck with me.
It was from a movie with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda,
and the original, called ';Yours, Mine and Ours.';
Henry Fonda's character said that love's not about the things we think it's about. It's about the orthodontist, eating hamburger when you can't afford steak. Basically making those sacrifices for one another, and more than that... more than what his character said, it is the honest effort and ability of going to God in prayer, over all things... TOGETHER! Do you know if it's just temporary? It's knowing everything about somebody else, and loving them anyway.
I will pray right now for you.
Dear Lord,
Bless this man with knowledge, understanding, and discernment over this matter of marriage. With You, Jesus, all things are possible, through the Father. This may be exactly the union you're looking to bless. But it may not.
May the Word of the Holy Father be addressed in these matters, taken into consideration by all, and perhaps counseling with a pastor... before this important union step is taken.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Can you lead this young man, after your own heart,
to the right decision? Please show him the truth, the light and the way.
God bless you!
One month is way too soon to decide that you love someone to bits and want to spend the rest of your life with them. At this point it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl. Give it about a year before you even think about getting married.
On the other hand, long engagements are assinine. I've known people who have been ';engaged'; for three years before they started making wedding preparations. Once you fork over the ring, y'all should be down the aisle within a few months. Once you decide to get married, then just do it already.
I met my husband online in April '97, and at the time he lived 2,000 miles away. Within the first month, I already knew he was the one. We met in person that August, he moved here in Sept., we got engaged in October, and got married the following June. The only reason we waited 8 months is because we wanted a June wedding. Otherwise it would have been sooner. He was baptized into Christ a couple weeks before our wedding. (And yes, we waited until our wedding night for sex.)
I understand how you feel. Does your girlfriend feel the same way you do? Does she ever drop hints that she's looking to get engaged yet? Pray about this, asking for God's guidance and wisdom as you move forward. (And personally I don't think it would take longer than ~6 months to plan a wedding, but we were married 10 yrs ago.) God bless!
you should give your self enough time to get to know the person on ever single level. If you rush in it too soon, some where down the line it wont work out, Misunderstandings happen all the time, so its good to know what ticks them off and how they like to sort it out.
and courting? its not the 1960s its now called dating.
Your in that loved up phrase, everyone goes through it, you just cant get enough of each other and the feelings are at their highest point, but remember their not at their deepest point. That would go after about a couple of months or a year after.
