I need some advice on personal problem.. Help?

Ok...my mom and her boyfriend have been together for like 2 years now. And they have been on and off the whole 2 years. HE is an alcoholic and every time they drink they end up fighting and she goes to her best friends house ( I call her my aunt) and stays there for a couple days until my mom's bf says he is sorry and he will change.





But, that never happens. He always goes back to drinking and they ALWAYS end up fighting.





The things I don't like about him personally is that:





1. He is controlling. I would always have to stay home on the weekends and watch my brothers who are 4 and 6. While him and my mom go out and party. And I'm 16 yrs. old. I have practically raised my brothers.


2. I never get to hang out with my mom because he is always like ';she is on my time';


3. He can never hold down a job. Even if his dad is the boss. (he recently just got fired) He is the most lazy,crass person I have ever met.


4. He use my child support check to watch TV. When I get home from school I kind of want to watch some TV. But nooo.. he says he works hard ALL day long and he needs to watch TV. So I never get to do ANYTHING!


5. When I did live with him I was put in a smallest room that was as big as a bathroom. Plus, I had to share it with my two brothers. And he has no air-conditioning and no heat in his run down trailer. So I would burn up in the summer while he and my mom had airconditiong in there room. (he wouldn't allow me and the kids to have one) AND then we would freeze to death because he would keep the little heaters in his room. Then he would get mad at me and the kids because we used a blanket that heated up. ( he said it uses to much electricity!!)





I could go on but there wouldn't be a point in that. As you can tell he is worthless.





The situation now is that my mom yet again left her boyfriend because he punch her in the eye. It was swollen for like 2-3 weeks. And now we are at my aunts house. It has been a month since he hit her.


Now, she is wanting to go back. And I am tired of this crap. My mom has terrible taste in men. And her ex-husband was abusive towards her and sometimes even me. I had to live with that stuff for 5 years, and now she is with a guy that's not even her husband that hits her. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I WANT TO MOVE OUT!!!!!!





I even told my mom that if she goes back to him I am not going. And that means I won't be raising her KIDS and she won't have a built-in babysitter when she wants to get wasted!





My aunt is also tired of her because she is absolutely broke trying to help my mom. She says that there is no use for her to help my mom because what is the use of helping her until I am completely broke and she always goes back to him.





My aunt also told me that I could move in with her if my mom would give my child's support check to her. I told my mom that last night and she got all offensive saying ';I decide where you live and what you do'; I said 'I am 16 and I can decide where I want to live'; she says ';you can only choose me or your dad';





I'm not living with my dad because me and him just don't get along. Plus he lives like 2 hours a way from where I live. And i don'tt want to move.





I could also choose to live with my grandma but she lives like 30 minutes away from my school and Idon'tt want to live with her because she is having money problems and if i go with her the money issue would just get worse. And Idon'tt want to be a burden to her.





The things I want to know are:


If my situation with my mom and her unstable boyfriend are so bad can I not choose to live with my aunt who is stable?





And if I had to go to court could I prove that she is a unstable mother?


(Even though I don't really want to go to court?)





Any of your advice would be sincerely appreciated!!


THANKS SO MUCH!!





P.S. Sorry I had to write you a long story I just wanted you to know my full situation. Thanks again!I need some advice on personal problem.. Help?
This sounds bad. You should look into getting emancipated from your parents. Get a steady job, provide the facts and then go to court. You need to be able to prove you can provide for yourself in becoming emancipated. Then you can always go and live with your aunt because by the law, you would technically become an adult and it would be your choice.





I'm sorry for your situation. Your mother's boyfriend sounds like a jerk. If you can't get emancipated call the police whenever he gets violent on either you, your mother or your siblings. Even if your mother won't press charges I believe you can. And besides, it would prove she is an unstable mother. If that doesn't work maybe he'll get so sick of you calling the cops that they'll give the okay for you to go and live with your aunt. Whatever you do, please don't forget about your siblings either.





I wish you the best of luck!


xoxoxoI need some advice on personal problem.. Help?
I'm sorry you're going through all of this!





First, I would say, you can emancipate yourself and go live with your aunt but I don't know that your child support check will follow you.


Second, You could take your mother to court, but they will place you with a blood relative.


Third, If you leave the house, your 4 and 6 yr old brothers will be left to fend for themselves.





I would say, your best bet is to A) stick it out till you're 18 and can move out on your own. B) take your mom to court and prove that you're living in unstable conditions and you believe it's in yours and your brothers' best interest to move somewhere else. Even if it has to be with your biological dad. The worst case scenario is that you and your brothers will end up in foster care.





Best of luck to you!! I really do hope your mother sees the light of day soon and leaves him for good!
You need to call child protective services and tell them everything. Tell them that you are acting as a parent to your brothers, and you have found other living arrangements (your aunt). You are not old enough to decide where you live, but you are certainly old enough to have an opinion, and it seems to me that you have reason to want to move out. Your brothers don't need to have your mom's BF as a role model, either. If you can't call CPS at home, then go to your counselor's office when you go to school, and tell him or her about this. Play hooky from class in order to do this, you really, really need to get out of this situation, and you need to get your brothers out of it, too.





What might happen: your aunt would get custody of you...and your child support payments. I suspect that your mom and her boyfriend don't want to let go of that income. Your mother will probably have to pay child support if you live somewhere else. You might also be able to live with your grandmother.





You MIGHT be able to get emancipated, if you can find a way to support yourself. You'd still have to go to school.





I don't know whether your aunt would take your brothers in as well, but they need to be in a healthier environment. You need to be acting like a teenager, not like a mother or nanny, for your own emotional growth.





I hope you can get things straightened out.
The others have already told you the possible route you can take. His abuse of your mom is a crime, report it or talk to an officer about the abusive environment via a non-emergency number, you can get that from an operator or the white pages. If you see violence in progress call 911. That will get him out of your life. Your mom is as much at fault in all this, if not more.