You develop confidence in yourself by learning to like who and what you are and stop trying to be something that you are not. You have to learn that you might admire the lifes of the party, but if you are not a life of the party, so what? However tou are will be appreciated in its own time; lifes of the party are appreciated only at parties. Every person has their time.Personal transformation change advice?
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Well, I used to be like that at 14, but got over it at 16/17 and had the most fun ever since (im 22). Look buddy, first of all you gotta accept yourself, you are unique and have good things and flaws. Ok, that said i gotta say you gotta relax, dont talk too much cuz you'll end up saying things you don't mean or becoming someone else's buttler. When you get to a place pay attention: you'll the clowns, the guys in control, the wanna be's and so on. The best ice breaker is always ';hi';, you can start talking about the event/party/whatever and then introduce yourself... after that it's all gonna go right. Most people are not confident, but the show themself as confident people (cuz that's attractive, thats why you follow leaders), so if you are not confident, start to fake it until it becomes a part of you. jeje, that's all i can say, hope it helps :P
Do you become nervous when you are placed in the spotlight? Do strangers make you shudder? Following are some tips to assist you in overcoming shyness.
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Steps:
Figure out what makes you feel shy. Do you become shy in front of audiences? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know and admire? When you don't know anyone somewhere? Try to pinpoint the thoughts that go through your head right before the shyness hits. Then come up with some ';I'; statements that you can repeat to yourself, like a mantra, to head off those thoughts: ';I can do this';, ';I look good';, ';I have something to offer';, etc.
Build your self confidence. Everyone has some special gift or trait to offer to the world. It sounds corny, but it's true. Think about what you know, what you can do, what you have accomplished, not about how you look or sound or dress. And keep in mind that everyone, even the ';beautiful people';, has something about themselves or their life that they don't like. There's no particular reason why your ';problem'; should make you shy while their ';problem'; doesn't make them shy.
Get comfortable. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, and build up your confidence through them. Eventually, this will translate to other situations being more comfortable.
Close your eyes and visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now, in your mind's eye, make yourself feel confident. Do this often, and for different situations. This is most effective if you do this daily, especially in the morning. It might feel silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you?
Maintain close bonds with your friends, as they can be there for you as you crack out of your shell. They'll be glad to help and encourage you with your progress.
Look and act approachable. Convey an open, friendly attitude with your body language.
Smile and make eye contact. A simple smile in the direction of a stranger may brighten your day, and it will brighten theirs, too! Smiling is a friendly way to acknowledge others, and it makes a pretty good lead-in to start a conversation with anyone, stranger or friend. It breaks the ice and loosens up your facial muscles, too.
Practice good posture and speaking clearly. Standing tall gives the world the impression that you are self-confident and receptive to others. Speaking clearly will help avoid the potential embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said due to mumbling or talking too quietly.
Laugh often, but only at things you find genuinely amusing. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling and will make you feel more relaxed.
Don't look preoccupied. Don't work on papers, text or do your make-up if you want someone to talk to you.
Set goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily accomplishments, then gradually become more daring.
Make a list of situations that make you feel anxious. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one. The first few ';easier'; situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes; take it at your own pace, but make an effort to push yourself.
Introduce yourself to one new person each day. It is often easier to talk with strangers, at least briefly. After all, you may never see them again, so who cares what they think about you?
Make new friends. Talk to somebody you would not normally think about having a conversation with. Try to find people who share one or more of your interests and find excuses to talk to them. It is great practice for more daring behavior, such as talking to popular, charismatic people. Initiate conversation with a simple starter, such as, ';That's a nice bag, where did you get it?'; or ';It's really nice outside, don't you think?'; Most people are good-natured and will be welcoming to your advances. People often indicate that they are interested in conversing by starting this way, so learn to take the bait when it arises, and try to say as much in response as possible.
Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would. Doing something really outlandish, like sky diving, will: a) provide an endorphin rush; and b) give you a story to tell when you are making conversation with people. And if you can find the courage to do something that big, then something like talking to a cute girl/guy should seem easy.
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