Personal issue!! need advice on wat to do!! can sumone help?

okay if ur willing to read this really long message that would b nice!! i need the advice so here i go.. so im having a BIG PROBLEM! im 18 years old. i have a 5 month old baby girl. i have no car, no job, no education! i live with my mom and her fiance %26amp; my grandfather. my dad just started coming around the baby about a month ago. he wasn't around for awhile because my baby's father is 50% black 50% white. hes racist. but i love him despite the fact. my father has ALWAYS been in my life even tho he split from my mom when i was 2 years old. my father always SPOILED me with everything that ive ever wanted %26amp; now hes doing so with my baby. i mean he spent almost $1,000 in one day on her! but before i had her he was begging me to get an abortion or consider adoption. BUT THOSE 2 CHOICES ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION! my baby's father is still in her life! also in my life but my dad doesn't know that because he would be angry%26amp;cut me off! well u see me %26amp; nick have problems.. he hits me wen he gets mad, hes cheated once%26amp;he smokes weed but we've been together for 2years %26amp; i don't wanna give up so easily over the problems he has %26amp; because im not perfect%26amp; have problems too! so i cant judge him for that. but besides his bipolar episodes, hes fine%26amp; we get along GREAT!!!! my home life is horrible, my mom is a LOUD, CRAZY, ITALIAN WOMAN!! wen she gets mad, which wen she usually gets mad its coming from nowhere, she screams %26amp;beats the **** outta of me in front of my daughter!! she has problems with everything %26amp; bitches non stop. she chooses her fiance over me%26amp; i cant deal with it! she tells me she wants me out %26amp; trust me! i want out!! i just don't know where to go %26amp; i cant get a job until my daughter turns one %26amp; is off the breast! she refuses formula%26amp; throws it up! i mean i cant even pump breast milk because she wont take any thing from a bottle! so im stuck! her father has made an offer to have me move 2,000 miles away from home with him. he says he'll seek therapy for his drugs %26amp; anger problems!! but theres alot of risks im taking when moving away. my dad not being in my life to help me out %26amp; nick not changing his problems! i need advice %26amp; help where to go? wat to do? for my baby's well being! i hate living in a dysfunctional environment %26amp; my daughter growing up like that! i need sum advice please!!! PLEASE NO MEAN COMMENTS!!!! IM A GOOD MOTHER%26amp; TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY BABY!!! SO DONT JUDGE ME!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!! NOT CRITICISM!!!!Personal issue!! need advice on wat to do!! can sumone help?
I suggest that you have a frank talk with your dad. Tell him that you need a place to a stay for about a year. Offer to do all the housekeeping, cleaning, laundry, and maybe some light yard work in exchange for a place to stay. You need to get away from your mother. Whatever you do, do not move in with Nick either. He is abusive. He is not a good person and you are so young. If he wanted to seek treatment for his addictions, he would of already done so. You have your whole life ahead of you . You need to remove yourself and your daughter from all abusers. I also suggest not living with your dad too long because of the negative impact his racism will have on her self-esteem. Basically, try to get through her first birthday living with your dad. Then try to find a program for young homeless mothers where they provide childcare while you get job training. Some cities have such programs. Best of luck to you.Personal issue!! need advice on wat to do!! can sumone help?
May I respectfully say that for the moment you should go with your dad as far away from your present place as possible. If the baby's daddy has hit you once, he will again. If he cheated on you once that you know about, he will again. My son in law is black and he has a job, and he respects his wife, and son (my grandson is one year old today) . So this has nothing to do with race. It has to do with raising your child in the best possible environment. The ideal thing would be if your dad could get you a small apartment of your own, so that you don't have to put up with your dad's bad behavior either. Encourage your dad to go to anger management. Try to meet up with other moms, like at the playground or preschool, when that starts. See if you can work out watching each others kids so you can get a break.


Or see if you can find some kind of work from home.
First of all, you sound like you are doing your very best to be a great mom! Congratulations for that. You are very young and its not surprising that you are confused, you've got a lot going on in your life.





First and foremost, your daughter needs to be your number one priority, you are all she's got and the decisions you make now, will shape the type of human being she will become. Moving out with Nick is a very bad idea, although you may think you love him, you don't love someone who hurts you. Even though he's angry its never OK for him to abuse you, what happens when he turns on the baby? You need to leave him, and tell him that he will only be able to have supervised visits with your daughter. Once he cleans up his life, you can re-assess that situation.





As for living with your mom, she sounds like she's creating a horrible atmosphere for you to raise your baby in. You need to leave, as I said before, its NEVER OK for someone to abuse you regardless of who it is. She sounds like she's got her own problems, and she's taking it all out on you.





Your relationship with your father sounds like the only good relationship you have. Maybe your dad really isn't racist, maybe he just hates Nick because of what he's done to you- if he can love your daughter, race has nothing to do with it. You need to talk to your dad and see if he would be willing to help you, finish your schooling and be the role model that you know you can be. You and your daughter will be a stronger for it. You've got a tough road ahead but from your long message, I think you already knew all of this and just needed someone to confirm your thoughts. You will make the right choice for you and your baby, and you'll give her a great life!





Good luck!
Alright First of all DO NOT move away with nick.That could very well lead to terrible things especially if you get there and he doesnt get help and continues to beat you. You CAN NOT raise that baby with him beating you. Now when the child gets a little older he may start to beat her so you really need to watch out for that. The day he lays a hand on her you need to get out. i am a child of physical abuse and my mother left me in his care and i was beat until i was put into an adoption agency and that took 10 years.you dont want that for her.Now since you are eighteen and depending on what state you live in they do have victim centers for that stuff and they can help you with financial and housing issues. REgardless though you need to get out because that is a toxic situation. Now dont go out and move tomorrow. If you like i will try to help you find different places. i need to know the state you live in though and i will do extensive research.





i will be here to listen and help anytime you need it. let me know if you want me to help.





precious1413@yahoo.com








please email ASAP and let me know yea or no
I'm sorry to hear that.


Try this- take online classes. Get a simple, easy-to-get degree in a subject you're strong in. By the time you finish, your baby should be around 1 years old. There are jobs out there for high school diplomats, and online class graduates. Work out a schedule. If you baby naps in the morning, get an afternoon shift somewhere. If she naps in the afternoon, get a morning shift. You could start off with a small job, like at Starbucks to have experience. Over time, apply to bigger jobs and use your older jobs in the experience section of your resume. Maybe with the counseling, your boyfriend can go over to your house and take care of your baby for long periods of time. Save lots of money. Find an okay area, rent an apartment, and since your dad spoils you, let him help in paying the rent. Bring furniture from your old home.





Don't lose hope! Good Luck!
I'm sorry things are so rough for you. Being a new mom is hard enough without all of those challenges. Here are some things you can do to become independent so that you will have some more options.


1) Contact the hospital where your baby was born and ask about renting a breast pump. They will also have someone available to teach you and your baby to work with artificial nipples so baby will stop throwing up.


2)The boyfriend will also hit your child, and you are responsible for protecting her. You have to leave him even though you love him. I'm sorry. He will not stop.


3) Your father sounds like he is trying to be a better person. Accept him and his help, and tell him that you need help getting an apartment an a job with a company that has a breastfeeding lounge and onsite childcare. There are more of them than you think.


4)Be strong enough to do all of these things and you will be a great mother to your daughter. Do not compromise on what is best for her, and everything will work out fine.


Good luck!
I wish I could help you with all of this but there are only few things I can tell you. Don't think about going back with nick. Once a guy starts beating up someone, they don't stop, lets say they become more likely to hit you after the first time. Also, he is in drugs you don't want your baby to have such an environment. I know you said you don't judge him because you are not perfect. You might not be perfect, but you have a moral, something nick doesn't have. You are involved in a really hard situation, if i were you I would ask your dad for help, just for a while until you get a job. I know it's going to be hard for your baby, you got into a big problem and you have to find the way out to get out of it. Maybe you can find a family member or someone you trust that can stay with your baby while you work, cause judging by your situation there's no way to wait a year before finding a job. I believe you can also get help from the government like that program they have called W.E.E.K.


Good luck